Body Love

I want to tell you guys a story, about the time I joined a cult.

Ok, ok… it wasn’t a cult. It was a fitness studio. But there were some serious similarities going on there.

I came to the studio kind of lost, very unhappy with my body. I was in the midst of figuring out my happiness, and the magnetic studio owner convinced me that learning to teach in her studio was my way to get there.

And actually, she was right.

For the first time in my life, I achieved a body that I adored during the course of my training. I was vibrantly happy, had so much energy, and felt motivated to work towards my goals – which now included working as a fitness instructor and personal trainer.

Unfortunately, when I began working there, everything shifted. Even though I LOVED teaching class and training clients, being on the inside wasn’t what I thought it would be. I felt surrounded by frauds. The same people who taught me to put myself first, and introduced me to the intricacies of my human form, now offered up catty jabs, restrictions on my diet, and contracts for keeping me thin.

So, being someone who doesn’t get down like that, I resigned from my position.

The experience still left me with a passion for fitness that didn’t exist before. I’d learned so much about nutrition and exercise, so much about the mind-body connection, but suddenly I lost trust in the method that had worked so well for me. I couldn’t un-see the truth that lurks behind so many fitness fronts – that it’s rarely what it seems from the outside.

That’s why I created “The Art of Body Love”, a 5-hour intensive to fast-forward you towards a body you absolutely adore, and a sense of peace around food. (You can check it out on my services page).

It’s 100% possible to have a body you love without spending ANY time at the gym, or feeling deprived around food. I swear to you. I speak the truth.

If that’s something you’re interested in, stay tuned later this week. Something special is on the way!

For now though, just take 3 big, deep breaths before you eat your next meal. I will too. I bet it’ll do us both a world of good.

And that’s where we part, for now. Take care of yourselves loves, until next time… ❤

Be Yourself

Do you ever worry that people won’t like you? Maybe you worry that you sound stupid? Or maybe you’re not attractive to others? Maybe you’re boring? Or your breath smells? Or *insert scary negative judgment here*….

Lately, fears like these have been HUGE on my radar. They’re partially rooted in a natural human fear of rejection. On a primal level, we’re always afraid that we’ll be rejected by our loved ones if they see who we really, truly are.

That’s why we build up all kinds of defenses and walls to keep people from seeing who we REALLY are. We slap a smile on when we actually feel like raging out. We create this persona of who we think we SHOULD be, so that the tribe will decide we’re alright and they’ll let us stick around.

It’s really important to be aware of this fear, because if you aren’t it’ll prevent you from doing all kinds of fun stuff… like having the body of your dreams, or speaking 100% freely with your closest people, or going after your goals in life.

Those fun things only come when you stay true to who you really are at your core. That shit is SCARY, because it makes you feel exposed. But, it really doesn’t have to be this way…

The secret is, you’re 100% perfect just the way you are, way down deep. Your darkest secrets, your wildest dreams, the craziest things that turn you on. That’s the you that I’d like to see, if you’re willing to share it. That’s the version of me that I want you to see.

What’s something you can do, right now, to share your real self with the world (or someone special in it)? If you’re not sure, try to let your mind be quiet, and I bet the answer will come to you…

Enjoy!! Love to all. ❤

Urgings from a Recovering Man-Hater

My people, I have a confession to make… I’m a recovering man-hater.

I used to blame pretty much everything on guys, something I realized while reading “The Queen’s Code” by Alison Armstrong. I used to think men were stupid, that they didn’t have any emotions, and I basically used them as a scapegoat for all of my unhappiness and negative emotions.

In my defense, this man-hatred was born out of a lot of painful interactions with men. I’m no stranger to being ignored, being cheated on, being name-called… being gawked at and cat-called. I’ve even been abused physically and sexually by men.

But, despite all that, I recently decided that my man-hatred HAD to go.

You see, my subconscious resentment towards men was preventing me from having fulfilling, supportive relationships with the men in my life. At every turn, I was cutting them down with sarcasm or treating them like babies. I acted like my desires were more important than theirs, as though what I wanted for them mattered more than what they wanted for themselves.

I’ve realized now, treating men like that only pushes them farther away. I’ve realized that all this discord between men and women is really a big fat misunderstanding.

The truth is, men care a LOT about how they’re seen by women. They want to provide us with everything we want. They want to make us happy. But ladies, they don’t always know how to express themselves effectively. And honestly, sometimes when men DO express themselves, we only cut them down even more…

Because at the end of the day, nothing gets our emotions going quite like our relationships do. And when we aren’t holding the reins tightly, the ride can get a liiiittle bumpy.

When we women are able to get our emotional shit together, and when we act in loving, supportive ways towards men, something really magical happens. All of a sudden they’re more attracted to us, and they’re more comfortable with us. All of a sudden they’re happy to give us exactly what makes us happy, because making us happy makes them happy. All of a sudden, they really care about protecting us rather than hurting us. That’s what my program “The Art Of Man-Speak” is all about.

All that said, my biggest message today is for the ladies… Don’t underestimate how much our comments about male incompetency impact the men we love. Know that sometimes men don’t tell us how they’re feeling because they weren’t really taught tools for emotional expression. They’ve been bombarded with messages that emotions make them less effective men, and we often reinforce that message without even realizing it, out of sheer misunderstanding.

Ladies – when we as women take steps to put down our swords, the men in our lives follow suit. With our support and understanding, they’re much more willing to do things differently.

There’s more than enough power and love to go around.

I hope you’ll keep that in mind as you enjoy your weekend!! Thanks so much for being here and for reading. As my dad used to say – peace, love, and happiness, hasta la vista baby!

Emotional Education

Hey guys!! I hope you’re having a lovely week so far. Today, I hung with Jennifer Gattelaro ( snapping head shots and talking business. I can’t wait to share the photos with you. 
During lunch, we chatted about about emotion management, and how it ties all the pieces of my business together. Not only am I trying to teach emotional skills to others, but I’m beefing up my own skills. Full disclosure: leaving a steady paycheck to start a business has been freaking terrifying, and it’s definitely tested my emotional limits!
There are few things that our society tolerates less than emotional expression, and we see the results of this in a lot of ways. Suicide and bullying are on the rise. We struggle to support each other and it’s hard to find happiness for ourselves. All along, we’re given this message to “smile and keep on trucking” or “man up, deal with it”. As though acting like nothing’s wrong is the only way to get through and make it better.
Unfortunately, emotional suppression is futile, and our emotions only grow to tidal wave size when we try to suppress them. Sometimes our clammed up emotions show up as physical issues like pain or illness. Often, they seek attention by filling our brains with anxious chatter, personal insults, or too-harsh judgments placed on ourselves and others. They can easily become full blown mental health symptoms, like panic attacks, uncomfortable energy levels, or little voices in our heads.
Emotions are important, because they hold meaning – meanings that we miss when we suppress them. Emotions exist to teach us things, like how to treat ourselves better or how to treat others. They let us know when we’re on the right track or if it’s time to re-evaluate. They’re one of the best tools we have to learn about ourselves, and being in touch with them helps us connect more deeply with the people we love.
If learning to process emotions effectively is something you’d be in to, check out My 4-hour intensive “How to Move Your Emotions” is a great place to start (or continue, like if you’ve tried the traditional healthcare system and it hasn’t worked so well). Moving your emotions is a great way to take your power back when your emotions have been running the show. I’d be happy to show you how.
If you know you’d like a consultation, here’s an application link: Once I get your info, I’ll contact you to set it up!
So… what are you feeling right now? Personally, I’m feeling hungry, so that’s my cue to exit. Thank you for reading, I’m truly thrilled to have you here. Catch you later folks!